Stopping Time

I'm in pain.
I'm afraid.
I'm losing hope.

Let there be enough time. I want him to see me graduate. I want him to be proud of me, her grand daughter who used to bring him pride and honor.

I am selfish.
I am immature.

I can feel his pain and sufferings yet I choose to ignore it and be self-centered. I am irrational because I only care about my feelings. I don't know how to deal with death that is why it is hard for me to let go. I don't know how to handle that situation.

I need guidance.
I need to keep my faith stronger.

Everything happens for a reason. God will never leave me standing alone. I just hope that when that day comes, I have my family and friends beside me for me to accept the reality.