Life as I Know It

The clock is tickling... Do I have enough time?

I have witnessed the beauty and nightmare of LIFE for almost 22 years. There are so many what ifs at the back of my mind. I was wondering if life for me is meant to be like this, a cycle of ups and downs, a sinusoidal wave of emotions having a maximum and minimum point. Most of the time, memories of hurt, fear, disappointment prevails over the times of joy, happiness and success. Why is that so? Negative flashbacks are so vivid compared to the positive ones.

I have a theory that all my unhappy experiences in life were more dominant (in terms of memory recall) because it is from those memories I get inspirations to become a better me. The lessons I learned from those helped mold me to become a stronger and a more mature person.

I am becoming more sentimental these days for no specific reason at all. I have been reflecting more often nowadays compared before. Life for me is not that complex. I am still torn between the idea of destiny and free will. There are times that I feel that it is us that makes life complicated, the choices we make in our everyday lives yields to what we are and who we are. On the other hand, there are also times that I feel that there are some other great forces involved that we cannot control affecting the cycle and routine of life.

BUT, there is one thing I am sure of, and I am proud to say that I know God never made my life unfair. Challenges were brought for me to find solutions. Obstacles were presented for me to strengthen my faith. Blessings were given for me not forget to be grateful. Success were encountered for me to have humility.

Life is beautiful and it just keeps on getting better

brain drain

I never felt this tired. Never been doing acads almost 24/7. I'm really lost with my thesis. It sucks because I wasted my entire 1st semester. I never had the chance to do preliminary experiments to check if my proposal was feasible.

Should not be this negative. Should not be this pessimistic. Should be doing researches now to check for other ways to improve my methodology.

I'm stuck with my biology 1 review for tomorrow's examination.

What a geek way of stating my feelings, huh? Anyway, I am still hoping that this is just a challenge that I could surpass. I won't give up even though it means that I will work hard this last remaining days of my last semester in college. I can do this. I believe that God will help me think of a way to fight this obstacle. :D I have faith.

welcome 2010

It's not yet late for me to welcome 2010. By the way, I used to be a multiply blogger, I just decided to create an account here for a change, and of course to try new things.

2010. I sense that this year would be a busy year for me.Thesis, plant design, graduation, job hunting, board exam, celebrations of life, etc. I am torn. I am afraid. I am excited. What's in store for me? What obstacles await me? What blessings shall I face? What now?

Torn, to what path should I take after graduation. Should I be concentrating in reviewing for my board exam? Should I apply in an industry and be a hard-core engineer? Should I venture in the corporate world? Or should I just take the academe opportunity and teach in a high school?

Afraid, to be independent and to face reality. Almost 22 years of being close to my family and being dependent on my parents' support, this is a great challenge for me. How will I be able to budget myself? How can I help my family, how will I make them happy and not disappoint them?

Excited, to see the beauty of life, to make my own adventure and to try new things. This is a new phase, a new beginning. Adrenaline rush all over just the thought of all the possible opportunities I could have after graduation.

What now? I should graduate first. I should give my all in passing all my subjects this semester. Extra-curricular should be balanced with my academics performance. First thing first. I have goals, I have vision. I have to execute those properly.

I am optimistic. I am strong. I have faith in God Almighty. Trials may come and go but I know God is always beside me to help me cope. 2010 will be a better me.

I dream, I believe, I pray, I hope, I know 2010 will be a wonderful year. As I always say,

Life just keeps on getting better